But, On the Bright Side...
Don't fight the darkness. Instead, bring in light.
The sun shines today for the second day in a row, a wonderful treat after weeks of harsh winter weather. Temperatures around 40 degrees don’t feel as cold as they should once you’ve spent days too far below freezing. The days have started growing longer as well, a sign that we have survived the darkest days of winter. When you have been hard-core hibernating as I have, these are small joys to be celebrated.
I remember reading somewhere, years ago, that it takes seven positives to outweigh one negative. One of the thousands of little trivial facts that float around in my brain, I only recently came to understand how we have to apply this to our lives to strategically compensate.
For parents, it might mean that every time you criticize your child, you have to compensate by saying something encouraging and loving — seven times.
In a relationship, it could mean that if you hurt someone’s feelings, you only need to apologize once, but you might compensate by expressing kindness and compassion in some make or manner — seven times.
As an adult, it would mean for every complaint we make, we should also express gratitude for at least seven blessings in our lives.
Some of these seem possible. We have the ability to adjust our behavior to compensate for our behavior. But, living in American society, we also have to compensate for the negatives we endure from external sources. This is much more difficult to manage.
The first step in this process is to minimize the negativity we are exposed to. This is currently happening nationwide. Consumption of national news is down nearly 40% since the election, and people are shutting down social media accounts far and wide since the inauguration. I locked myself out of my Facebook account on November 1, before the election, and have not returned since. I shifted my source of national news to PBS News Hour and one non-politically affiliated newsletter. I no longer read my local newspapers, which I staunchly supported for decades.
(I still have my subscription to The New York Times online, basically so I can play Wordle.)
So, I’m still informed of national news, but I’m not being constantly pummeled by it. I still lurk on Instagram, where I watch funny videos and enjoy GenX memes. I count these as positives against the negatives of the world. If I giggle or laugh out loud, that’s a bonus, and I count that as a blessing too.
In many ways, it feels like we’re fighting darkness. So, I have also started trying to add, “but on the bright side…” after acknowledging some new nightmare. For example: “Holy Crap! We are obviously living in an oligarchy now, but on the bright side, I found a recipe for caramel cobbler that I really like.”
Or, “Yeah, grocery costs are skyrocketing, but on the bright side, we have land we can garden, and we can trade — my eggs for your garlic.”
Or, “I’m so sorry that you are being persecuted/harassed/oppressed/dismissed, but on the bright side, I love you and you are safe with me.”
I admit, the bright side sometimes doesn’t seem to be enough to compensate. But if it brings a smile — then the bright side has provided light. And even the smallest light dispels the darkness.
In 1960, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, an Indian guru and spiritual leader, said, “Don’t fight darkness—bring the light, and darkness will disappear.” If I have learned anything in recent years, I have learned that you cannot fight darkness. The best you can do is fend it off.
If we count these times as dark times, that’s basically one big negative. If we start a day with that, then we still only need to enjoy seven positives that day to compensate.
For example: “We are living in dark times, but on the bright side, the sun is shining today, the days are growing longer, I made a fresh caramel cobbler, we have hens so we don’t have to buy eggs, our pets make us laugh regularly, and our bills are paid.”
After an election year that seemed filled with fighting darkness (and losing), it is time to compensate for this great shadow with light. Little blessings, big blessings, simple positives, small causes for celebration. Seek out at least seven blessings, seven positives a day.
One day at a time, as they say… for the next four years.
All very nice, but we're not going to save America by hunkering down, ignoring reality swirling around us, enjoying our homegrown vegetables and saying nice things to people. We are living a national emergency and the creators of chaos would love nothing more than for people who know better to sign off. I don't disparage people who choose that route for whatever reason. But I encourage those who can to fight back. If you love an America where all people are created equal (even if they are trans) and we abide by the rule of law, then pay attention because those two things are being undermined right now - and if we let them go, we may never get them back.