Why your EQ is more important than your IQ.
We all have that one friend whose life is filled with drama. The friend who can’t manage his/her emotional responses, is overly sensitive and typically self-absorbed. Then, we all have that one friend we know we can’t do without. Every time we speak with him/her, that person makes us feel better. It’s that friend who can make friends without effort and can calm uncomfortable situations with little difficulty. Have you ever wondered how they do this?
Your friend is so amazing and important because of EQ, Emotional Quotient, or, in a simpler term, Emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence, or EI, was a concept coined in the mid-1990s making note of the ability to use, comprehend, and manage emotions. Whose emotions? Yours and those of others. We all are sometimes swept away with emotion, overcome. However, the ability to recognize your own emotions and the emotions of others and manage those emotions skillfully requires multiple talents.
Emotional awareness, for example, is one of them. Those with high EI can easily recognize their own and other people’s emotions. They can read nonverbal language and anticipate reactions. They can also use such feelings to help themselves solve problems and think more clearly. They can control their emotions when necessary and assist others in doing the same.
Emotional Intelligence includes:
Self-management. This refers to the ability to recognize and regulate your emotions in a healthy way. It also includes being able to take the initiative, as well as following through on commitments, and changing your behavior to suit changing situations.
Self-awareness. When you’re aware of your feelings and their influence on your thoughts and actions, you know your strengths and flaws and have greater self-confidence and self-control. Very few of us get angry and think, “anger is an emotion that tells me there’s a problem that needs to be resolved.” However, we do not have to resolve the problem using anger.
Social awareness. Social awareness involves being empathetic. When you have empathy, you can perceive and fully understand other people’s feelings, requirements, and concerns. Social awareness enables you to feel comfortable in a social situation and recognize the balance of power in groups you associate with.
Management of relationships. This is the ability to understand how to build and maintain positive relationships. It also helps you communicate well and inspire and influence others. Managing relationships helps you to collaborate with others and resolve disputes with success.
When someone possesses these characteristics, we can call them emotionally intelligent. But how does our EI impact our lives?
Your academic or work performance. High EI can assist you in steering through social difficulties at school or work. Those with high EI succeed at leading and encouraging others, bringing them success, whether on the job, at home, or at school. Employers are looking for applicants with these skills.
Your physical well-being. If you can’t manage your emotions, you can’t control your stress. Stress and long-term anxiety cause extensive health issues. For example, uncontrolled stress raises blood pressure, raises the risk of strokes and heart attacks, and even speeds up aging. Developing emotional intelligence helps maintain good physical and mental health.
Your relationships. Our relationships with others are essential to our quality of life. You will communicate better and build stronger bonds with others if you develop emotional intelligence. Also, when you know how others are feeling and can respond appropriately, you will form stronger bonds at home, at work, and at school.
Emotional intelligence is vital for success in life. It will open up new doors and allow you to grow, learn, and connect better with others. Emotional intelligence is the key to performing well in work and play, maintaining physical health, and managing the challenges and obstacles we face rationally and with reason.
Build your Emotional Intelligence
The good news is that emotional intelligence can be learned and developed.
Observe how you react to people. Do you rush to judgment before you know all of the facts? Do you stereotype? Look honestly at how you think and interact with other people. Try to put yourself in their place, and be more open and accepting of their perspectives and needs.
Look at your work environment. Do you seek attention for your accomplishments? Humility can be a wonderful quality, and it doesn't mean that you're shy or lack self-confidence. When you practice humility, you say that you know what you did, and you can be quietly confident about it. Give others a chance to shine – put the focus on them, and don't worry too much about getting praise for yourself.
Do a self-evaluation. What are your weaknesses? Are you willing to accept that you're not perfect and that you could work on some areas to make yourself a better person? Have the courage to look at yourself honestly – it can change your life.
Examine how you react to stressful situations. Do you become upset every time there's a delay or something doesn't happen the way you want? Do you blame others or become angry at them, even when it's not their fault? The ability to stay calm and in control in demanding situations is highly valued. Learn to keep your emotions under control when things go wrong.
Take responsibility for your actions. If you hurt someone's feelings, apologize directly – don't ignore what you did or avoid the person. People are usually more willing to forgive and forget if you make an honest attempt to make things right.
Examine how your actions will affect others – before you take those actions. If your decision will impact others, put yourself in their place. How will they feel if you do this? Would you want that experience? If you must take the action, how can you help others deal with the effects?
Emotional Intelligence is becoming more and more important in our world. These are the skills that help us manage and maintain quality relationships and a healthy mental outlook in an often confusing and frustrating world. By practicing and developing your EI, you will grow as a person and develop the abilities to properly steer your way in life.