Simplifying Includes Overcoming Addiction

Shedding destructive influences and unhealthy habits.

Photo by Christopher Ott on Unsplash

“Addiction is when natural biological imperatives, like the need for food, sex, relaxation or status, become prioritized to the point of destructiveness.” - Russell Brand

I joined Facebook in August 2008. And just as they note about heroin, I was instantly addicted. Such an amazing concept to interact with people without actually interacting with them. We could play games together, share photos of our kids, pets, and dinner plates. And if you were a small business owner, it was the new “bee’s knees” of networking.

Note that Russell Brand includes the need for status in his list of possible addictive behavior. And here we are, in a world of likes, loves, shares, and statuses now also available on Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and more — which must all be strategically used to become an influencer or appeal to influencers. In order to succeed, you must participate.

Not to mention the fact that it’s all designed to keep us scrolling, clicking, and immersed. Even worse than television, social media is the Great Time Suck. And after 15 years on Facebook, I’ve come to recognize it all as a destructive influence in my life.

When I mention I’m coming to the hopeful ending of a two-year recovery program for my Facebook addiction, it takes a moment for them to process that I am serious. For some reason, addiction to social media is something often seen as a flippant concern. Or, it hits too close to home for others who know, deep down, they’re addicts too.

Five years ago, I reached 2,000 Friends on Facebook. I had to manage the list: follow, unfollow, favorites, and try to figure out who the people were. I began to notice that many of them assumed since we were friends on Facebook, I should automatically know what’s been happening in their lives. I would also run into people who were complete strangers — but thought I should recognize them as one of the 2,000 on this list of posts and pictures.

And then, of course, there were multiple (and ongoing?) data and privacy issues with Facebook, and then came the “revelation that a data analytics company used by Donald Trump’s presidential campaign was able to surreptitiously collect data on 50 million people through a seemingly innocuous quiz app.”

My one saving grace is that I never installed Facebook on my cell phone. It only controlled my time and impulses at home. Most who access social media via cell phones are pulled into a “round-the-clock, hyper-connectivity can trigger impulse control problems, the constant alerts and notifications affecting your concentration and focus, disturbing your sleep, and making you a slave to your phone.”

I never became a slave to my cell phone, thank goodness. There’s no cell phone signal where we live.

More and more studies have shown that sitting is the new smoking, and sitting with your cell phone browsing social media is the new mental health epidemic. Social media is stealing our time, energy, focus, confidence, and humanity. (I could list all the destructive effects here, but instead, I’ll just link this entire paragraph to a better source.)

And there’s an election year coming up.

Over the past few years, I have been slowly and strategically unfriending and unfollowing. For two years, I maintained a limit of no more than 100 friends and then trimmed down to 50 friends last year.

And when I returned to home-based work this spring, hoping to write and sell and promote online, I trimmed my friend list down to 18 people. My BFF never has set up a social media account. And frankly, I’m grateful for that. For 15 years, she has survived with two email addresses: one for work, and one personal. And for the most part, has all her life’s ducks in a row.

All of this to tell you — I am overcoming. Instead of mornings spent scrolling, I walk with the dogs, check the garden, and quietly drink my coffee on the porch watching birds, deer, bees, and clouds. Instead of scrolling, I turn on the stereo and listen to music. My house is cleaner (ish), my mental state has improved, and I am more connected to my REAL life.

So please forgive me if I don’t friend you on Facebook, or if I deny your friend request. Don’t take my leave of social media mania as any kind of judgment. But I urge you to consider how much control social media has over you. Consider how it affects your mood, and how much of your time it steals. You have a REAL life to live, and it can be better without the virtual drama and manipulation. You may even discover the world again.